Friday, June 9, 2006

1. HEALTH: HUMAN PAPILLOMAVIRUS VACCINE APPROVED NOT REQUIRED.

Seldom in this troubled world do we get to report a story so full of promise for humankind. The FDA yesterday announced approval of a vaccine against the virus that causes cervical cancer, the result of a 15-year effort that began at the National Cancer Institute (WN 6 Jan 06) . Human papillomavirus is the most common sexually transmitted disease, and the second-leading cause of death among women, killing some 233,000 women each year. Death rates are highest in countries where the Pap smear is not widely used. The vaccine should be given before girls become sexually active, however, some conservative Christian groups object, pointing out that the vaccine is no more effective than abstinence. No doubt true.

2. CRIME: THANK GOD FOR THE FIRST AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION.

A federal judge in Iowa ruled last Friday that a state-financed evangelical Christian program to help inmates re-enter society was "pervasively sectarian" and violated separation of church and state. Prison Fellowship Ministeries, founded by Chuck Colson, was using taxpayer dollars to proselytize inmates. Colson, of Watergate fame, has done a little hard time himself. This sets the stage for a test of a Justice Department plan to set aside cell blocks at federal prisons for a private group to "counsel" prisoners in a single faith to prepare them for release. Justice insists the program is constitutional because it's voluntary and participants will receive no special favors. But the issue is whether they think they will receive special treatment. Recent appointments to the Supreme Court take on a new significance.

3. IRAQ: HOW U.S. FORCES FOUND THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN IRAQ.

This should have been the big story in today's news: To get the number-one enemy of freedom, we first had to find the crazy terrorist he was giving spiritual advice to. Crazy terrorists in Iraq are a dime-a-dozen these days, but there is only one, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi who gets his spiritual advice from Sheikh Abdel Rahman. The plan was boldly simple: find al-Zarqawi and track him until he leads us to Rahman. Then, call in an F-16 strike. The problem in Iraq isn't terrorists, it's the clerics, who are constantly inflating the number of virgins per martyr.

4. LIONS: WHY CERTAIN RELIGIOUS CONVICTIONS GAIN FEW FOLLOWERS.

According to a Reuters story out of Kiev, on Sunday evening when the zoo was crowded with visitors, a man lowered himself by rope into the lion enclosure and walked up to the lions shouting,"God will save me if he exists," thus proving himself to be a man of faith. Without hesitation, a lioness severed his carotid artery.

5. BIBLES: "THE GOSPEL OF THE FLYING SPAGETTI MONSTER" IS OUT.

The fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion now has its own sacred book to combat the "intelligent design" dark side.

Bob Park can be reached via email at whatsnew@bobpark.org
THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND
Opinions are the author's and are not necessarily shared by the University, but they should be.